Thank you Nixon, thank you heroes.

     In what kind of screwball word could sociopaths like Hitler, Bush, Nixon or Will Smith be elected politicians. Even if the vote was doctored, manipulated or just totally fucking forged…what kind of degenerate soul, masquerading as a thoughtful sentient human being would cast their pretend Monopoly® vote for such cantakorous and unsavory individuals. I can barely glance at the bright screen when these despicable, and rotten dreamers spread their glamorous agendas in-between commercials. (Pig fuckers in the truest sense of the phrase.)

     I get the alluring charm of these romantic yet evil puppet masters. They give us everything we crave. They are the drug dealing promoters of investment grade propaganda. Criminals with pristine credit and trillion dollar smiles. We are blind sheep that need to be shaved, shanked, fleeced and shown the fucking incandescent light. Yes captain.

     Thank you masses, and I’m being serious here. Thank all of you willing participants of history, myself included. Let us not forget to thank the winners. Thank you Genghis Khan, thank you Hillary Clinton, thank you Joseph Stalin, thank you Adolph Hitler, thank you Richard Nixon, thank you Walt Disney, thank you Barak Obama, and most of all thank you Project Runway. Thank you for accelerating the promised decline of Western and Eastern civilization. Thank you for being the guiding light that our trigger happy world needed. Every time we cried out in casual agony, you “guys” stepped up to the plate and delivered. You paved that glorious yellow brick road that Judy Garland explored during the Golden Era of Hollywood. You helped a nation get whole heartedly behind the bombing of Hiroshima, helped us get enthusiasticlly supportive of the cultural genocide of Palestine, Iran, New Orleans and the Bronx. You quite seductively convinced us to support the colonization of Mars and the commoditization of laughter. IOU for the degradation and eventual obliteration of HOPE!

     Now I can live to my 96th birthday, driving my electric powered flying car, watching my talking pictures in 13D, smoking cancer free Marlboros, eating TV dinners imported from a country far far away and a time yet to come. Now we can have 500 years of planned safe austerity instead of the 24 years of radically intoxicating prosperity that we were promised as horny middle schoolers. I will eternally be grateful for these gifts. Thank you for helping me become a better person. I will forever be indebted to you. Honoring you for your magnificent and efficient destruction of the world, will be a labor of love that I will enjoy every waking moment of my life. This is my thank you note.

Thanks a million.